TENSE VIBRATIONS

   When I told my boyfriend the sexologist recommended a vibrator he barely couldn´t hide the WTF across his face, he he.

   The air was tense way back home. I tried not to assume his thoughts but just like a cartoon he almost carried a bubble sign of REPLACED over his head.

   Now we laugh about but at that moment I felt judged, insufficient and (can´t believe my own words) unloyal!

   Yeah! I battled against my conception of love: should I give up the whole vibrator thing and keep making love until, someday finally my vagina realizes "Aw, so the big fellow´s supposed to make me tremble"?

   I was embarrased of the cliché "It´s not you, it´s me!" But it actually was me! 

   He did wonderful from head to toes and I knew I was near my limit every single time but used to stop myself, shuddering, crying and frustrated "I can´t come", refusing to go further.

   Back to our silent journey I understood I have nothing to say or do. The idea was out there wandering until someone dared to embrace it.

   "I have no trouble trying new things", I stated.

   "Me neither", his lips replied in total asynchrony with his vibe. Yeah! I could sensed it!

   I overcame the anxiety listing mentally Terry Cole-Whittaker´s book titles in this order!

What You Think of Me is None of My Business

How to Have More in a Have Not World

Every Saint Has a Past, Every Sinner a Future

Dare to Be Great

Live Your Bliss 

Inner Path from the Goddess Within

   He solved his inner demons while the bus gently approached my home. I think my silence and  non-resistance to negotiating (even if it is my body, my pleasure, damn it!) served the cause.

   I thank God each day for that virtue I appreciate above all in men (and people): The capability to learn, to expand their vision...

   We stopped feeling uncomfortable when we began talking about how uncomfortable we felt!

   The most amazing thing was he also felt insufficient! He hated for an instant my friend Maria and the "great" idea of asking advice. Then we started chattering about shopping together (I tell you later the tale about sex-shops).

   We did and I deal with the akwardness in explaining (and facing) my preferences:

   "No, honey, it´s so human-like! That one is too obvious... Be polite, it´s my first vibe... ehmm, that one is so tiny"

   First he begged to watch but the more we visit sex-shops the more he asked for the remote control to include himself in the activity! 
   The truth is we procastinated buying it (there are lots of stuff I may buy with 69.99 USD, for God´s sake!)

   A month later, after reading half of The Multiorgasmic Man, however I claimed the "O thing" to be my Own Thing, we were making out. 
   Picture this: in bed, nothing special prepared, just the two of us deep into each others sensations... I falled for goOd (the word "cOme" doesn´t match what I´m trying to say -not enough O´s)

   I was gone for a few seconds and then open my eyes wide to ask "Did I just...?"

   He nodded astonished and hold me tight really moved (I was excited and he was moved! Aw, sweet man of mine!)

   "Can we still get the vibrating thong?", he whispered hopefully. 

IN SEARCH FOR BIG O

   As we were saying in the tale before: two heads think better so we made up our mind and finally we go for the specialist.
   Lucky us one of my wife-to-be´s best friends is a very experienced SEXOLOGIST, and it was the Universe will we attended an invitation at her house one week later. 
   There we were dinning with Maria and we wouldn´t step back! We would face the "problem" that couldn´t let us enjoy our sex life fully. We waited to catch Maria alone and my fiancée took courage to ask her in privacy (some tale someday she might describe what happened in there).
    On my own I was completely nervous: panic and anxiety taking my body. The minutes passed in slow motion and at last, 15 of them later -but they could be HOURS to me- they came out and she said "SHE has practice tasks and YOU, young man, have the research" and handed me a booklist. I managed to read THE MULTIORGASMIC MAN on top.
   Later that night, my wife announced in a matter of fact tone "Love, I have 3 tasks: 
   1) To constelate
   2) Make formal appointments with a sexologist
   3) Explore myself and buy a vibrator.
   Ok, here I must tell one of my wildest fantasies was seeing her masturbating with a vibrator but when it turned to be the suggestion of a sexologist I thought "WHAAAAAT?"
   Wait for the whole tale soon when I tell you the phantom issues a man can develop against a vibrator and how to move on without being hurt!

Is LOVE complete without an O?

   She believed herself unable of an orgasm and blamed on her mother for not allowing even thinking of boyfriends when she was a teen. "Perhaps I could have noticed earlier and take her advice before she died", she used to say. 
   In search of the big O (or a little one, whatever!) she carried on her wildest fantasies. At 23 years old she encouraged her girl friends to make out with those strangers at this well-known bar. They involved in a small talk and took everyone´s phone number.
   She picked up her prey -randomly. She asked him out, then he asked her in, they drank coffee and she nearly spills it when he cuts off "You brag about doing what do you want of your life, kiss me then if you dare."
   Done!
   

   A hurted tiny "aw" (thank God for the hispanic hymen) ...Check!
   A "stay if you want" 30 minutes later followed by the circumstancial "I rather go home to sleep but tell me where to buy the pill, please".... Check!
   Yes! I´m ashamed to tell none of them brought condoms to the party. (I wouldn´t call it a party; it felt more like a hangover for that thing hanging over like "Hooray no condom today!")
   Have you ever stare at your closet wondering what clothes to wear for the big date? She dressed up in her naive costume when she couldn´t admit herself what she was actually accepting in this coffee-happen-to-be-taken-on-top-of-matress invitation.
   Was her first time. She blamed the guy for the lack of orgasm or any other jolly substitute. Someday she´ll let me tell that First Time story. The thing is she started the quest for a simple orgasm all the ways she thought of as feasible (true love sounded distant and so serious): 
   -Masturbation                Check!
   -Shared masturbation  Check!
   -Porn                         Check! (with 3 marks -XXX)
   -Friends with benefits  Check! 
   -Casual making out:
            Remaining first, 
                            second and 
                                         third base 
(just in case she was missing the foreplay) Check!
   -One-Night stand                                    Check!
   -Threesome                                           Check!
   -Cybersex                                             Check!
   
   She was thought as funny -and noisy, by the way.
   Seriously concerned she surrendered.
   "Maybe is true that all you need is love", she sighed.
   Voilá! She found Mr.Right and made him wait... internal policies, of course.
   It was like spring, in the middle of that fever and heading to their first time together (another tale, I promise) Should she tell him?
   She kept the information hoping for love to find a way. Thus love found a way in, on, up, down, between... Whatsoever. 
   Next question: fake it or...? Or what? 
   The conclusion may bring you the tears (of joy) She told him about the fruitless O-dyseey and he made a stand: A quest is better carried on by two.